have i fall in love with him or i love him or its just a greedy love towards him...

i never expect i will feel this kind of feeling towards him..i never realize this feeling..when i started to realize this feeling,i hardly breath,i lost my focus on work n daily life..i don't know when this feeling get in to me..if i know this feeling will cause me so much pain,i will build a wall around me n chase it away..n i will never have this feeling..now i live my life with this feeling..never ending feeling towards him..

i dont understand..what happened to me..

i dont really understand what happened to me..i think im mature enough to face all the things and i cant except anything with positively..without any bad feelings..its so funny me..i cant believe that i can acting like this in my age..hahaha..hmmm,but i still feel that im still young..so go to the hell with that feeling..:(