have i fall in love with him or i love him or its just a greedy love towards him...

i never expect i will feel this kind of feeling towards him..i never realize this feeling..when i started to realize this feeling,i hardly breath,i lost my focus on work n daily life..i don't know when this feeling get in to me..if i know this feeling will cause me so much pain,i will build a wall around me n chase it away..n i will never have this feeling..now i live my life with this feeling..never ending feeling towards him..